S.O.S.-Save Our Septic® Volume 9: I Feel a Need for Speed
Application: Bio-Microbics’ FAST® systems can be installed in half a day and are readily available for purchase through one of Bio-Microbics’ numerous distributors.
The weather was definitely fluky for early February. Normally, it would still be the thick of winter with snowstorms pushing project start dates into mid-April and later. Not this year, however. Unseasonably warm weather had thawed ground in areas of the country that would usually remain frozen for weeks to come. Whether global warming or weather anomaly, it was bringing builders out of their winter hibernation, hungry to get their bulldozers moving soon.
Nothing reflected this activity more than the phones at the Bio-Microbics office headquartered in Shawnee, Kansas, USA. They were ringing nonstop.
“Better Water. Better World. How can I help you?” answered Aerobe, sounding energetic in spite of this being his eighteenth call of the day before noon.
The voice that responded was the exact opposite: short, somewhat depressed, and not just a little annoyed. “Well, I sure hope you can help me. I am being forced by the county to put in an aerobic treatment unit. They gave me a list of approved ATU systems and your MicroFAST® system is on the list. Kinda like the name—Mi-cro-FAST—so can you tell me the advantages of this system and where I can get it?”
“I’ll be glad to help you, but I need a little more information from you, if you don’t mind—“ Aerobe began.
The caller interrupted, “You are NOT going to put me on hold, are you? I hate that!”
Aerobe quickly counters, “No, not at all. I’m here to help. I didn’t catch your name—and can you briefly explain your situation and where the system will be located?”
“Yeah, Redford Kimble, call me Red,” the caller launched into a rapid-fire response. “I’m building a house in the northeast—we are relocating because of my job—and now, come to find out, I have to put in all this fancy treatment stuff because of restrictions on my land.”
Red became more agitated, speaking even faster, “According to the county regulator, we do not have enough land to build a four-bedroom home with just a simple septic system. Said something about how only so much nitrogen can be released in the ground because there’s a drinking water well that needs protecting. Have you ever heard such a thing?”
Red sounded to Aerobe like a pressure valve building up a head of steam, “I know we need to protect the drinking water, but I sure don’t get how SPENDING ALL THIS MONEY CAN MAKE THAT MUCH OF A DIFFERENCE. AND NO TELLING HOW MUCH THIS IS GOING TO SLOW DOWN OUR SCHEDULE. I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS! Um, excuse me a minute. I’ll have a double burger with everything. And a large iced tea. And make it snappy!”
“Sorry,” Red returned to his conversation with Aerobe, “Just grabbing a fast bite in the drive-through lane. So, can you help me?”
Aerobe responded, “I’m sure we can. As you mentioned, the northeast is a very critical area and Bio-Microbics has a good number of systems located there.”
Red interrupted, “So demand is high for these FAST systems? Does that mean orders take a long time? Our construction is on a pretty tight schedule!”
“Oh, no, not at all,” Aerobe assured him. “We encourage our distributors to stock our single-family home units so they’re ready to ship out the same day the order is received.”
“Same day?” Red asked. “I like the sound of that! But what about installation? How long will that take? Will that bring house construction to a halt?”
“Red, we value time as much as you do. Our seasoned FAST installers can get a FAST system installed in half a day and it can go in anytime during construction.”
“I do like all this FAST talk,” Red admitted, sounding happy for the first time in their conversation. “Say, I have to catch a plane out to the property this afternoon. Can you get your distributor’s name to me pronto?”
“I’ll do better than that. I’ll meet you there and deliver that information in person.” Aerobe got the location details from Red.
“Don’t keep me waiting,” Red admonished her and hung up.
A few hours later, Aerobe was already at Red’s property when a low-slung sedan sped into view. Aerobe quickly flew over to the car’s approach.
“You must be Red,” Aerobe said, settling down easily next to the car and opening the door.
“Aerobe?” Red asked surprised, trying not to stare at the blue and silver robotic figure in front of him, “I, um, was expecting, someone, uh, not as, um . . . “
“Fast?” Aerobe asked him, grinning. Then to relieve Red’s obvious confusion and embarrassment, Aerobe suggested, “how about a quick tour of your property?”
Aerobe put Red at ease, offering more details about the MicroFAST system, explaining that its proven nitrogen reduction system can also help control annual costs for water quality testing.
Red grew more and more enthusiastic as he talked about the property, showing Aerobe where he planned to plant fast-growing trees and add a dog run. “We adopted a couple of retired racing greyhounds,” Red explained.
Aerobe gave him the local MicroFAST distributor contact information, assuring him that this distributor was very familiar with local restrictions and would waste no time getting an ATU system out to the property.
Aerobe gave Red a hearty handshake and said, “Thanks for contacting Bio-Microbics. If you need anything more, don’t hesitate to call again. But, now, I’ve got to fly.”
“Need a ride to the airport?” Red asked. “We can take the HOV lane and I’ll have you there in a jiffy.”
“Thanks, Red, but I have my own transportation.” Aerobe said as she began her vertical ascent above the property.
She turned back to wave to Red and caught the unmistakable look of envy in Red’s eyes as he watched Aerobe accelerate out of sight.